Beyond Positive Affirmations

Self Love Report (original work appearing here at 11:19 pm EST on Oct. 3, 2014 for copyright information)  No information in this report can be copied without permission from me.

How to Learn Self Love in 5 Minutes a Day

This book is dedicated to my daughter, Rachel Geneva, whose own self love has taught me to grow and self actualize into a more peaceful person and parent as well.

Preface

As with any self help book, a quick read will not do. There is reading, and feeling, and practice. Practice isn’t doing something well when no one is looking, it’s doing the thing that you must do, right in the moment. Then, repeat, repeat, repeat, until it’s no longer work.

Yet, many people do not know…”What must I practice? What is that thing that I must do?” The thing you must learn is the thing about yourself that makes you so uncomfortable that you know you must change it or you will never truly be happy. Or, maybe it is simply shifting your paradigm from one of distrust to trust, poverty to prosperity, hopelessness to purpose, lonely to supported, and most importantly, fear to love.

In order to attain the life of your dreams, you absolutely must get clear about what you want, and then stop doing, saying, and believing things that counter your goals. The universe hears all the signals or vibrations you are sending out; the successful people who achieve their goals are charasmatic and completely clear, and they continue on in the positive direction, without worries, fears, and doubts that disable and discourage them.

Introduction to Self-Love and a Remarkable You

Create truly remarkable results in just minutes a day. You have never realized what real self-love is until now. As you completely immerse yourself in this program, your self-actualized life will begin to unfold beautifully before your eyes. Woman AND men will learn to understand their true power, and how it comes from within; therefore, it is helpful to all people in all areas of life.

One of the main concepts to discuss now is that the law of attraction works, whether you believe it or not. We are all attracting the content of our thoughts all the time. Check yourself to see: if your emotions are generally positive, then your life is as well, and if your emotions are generally negative (complaining), then your life reflects that as well. Of course, it DOES depend on how confident you are at work or at home in your roles, as some areas of life may be more positive than others. But, the emotions EQUAL the results in every case, no exceptions.

This Self-Love program is meant to be done consistently over time. If you have never treated yourself to love or even appreciated yourself, you will not get any results in one day. However, if you stick with this specially developed program, and change your thinking and your affirmations, you will begin to see positive results. The real effort comes from dedicating yourself to taking time in each day to really love yourself.

Five minutes a day is all it takes to shift your energy toward a more positive you. The self-love will become an easy pattern to maintain over time and will be well worth it. As you enjoy observing your life change for the better, you will be thrilled to make time to remember your special qualities each day. I challenge you to take this on, and as you do remember who you are meant to be—a loving, peaceful, joyous, fun and successful and healthy person—you will find new strength in yourself and your connection with your source…and it will spread through you to others and they will do the same.

Loving yourself means that you can see yourself where you are at right now and find many noteworthy qualities. Appreciating yourself means realizing that you are here for a reason, and you are the only you. You are irreplaceable, unique, and completely worthy of love. You are deserving of every good you can imagine.

No matter what your past has been, or who you “think” you are, you are an amazing being. Stop apologizing for past mistakes; in fact, stop living in the past altogether. Stop worrying about problems, stop worrying about the future. Only think positive things about yourself. If you can do that for a short while, you will be “golden”.

Now, let’s get started on this journey from darkness to light. Read the affirmations and truly “feel” the emotion as it wells up inside you. If you do not believe the affirmation yet in an authentic way, you will soon. (If it is hard to do, then think of something easy, such as nature, seeing a rainbow, or putting your feet in the grass, which can generally bring you to a place of feeling good.)

Affirmation: I am amazing and special; there is no one like me in the entire universe. As I move through my day, I enjoy finding good qualities about myself, because I realize that if I am good, then I can use my inner guidance well. It is wonderful to notice that I can easily solve problems, I have good communication skills, I’m funny, I’m kind, loving, and generous. When I take the time to listen with my heart, life is easy. So, that is what I’ll do right now, relax and enjoy my day. There are many things that I must do, but I can remain calmly active and actively calm in my mind. I can stay focused on loving me first and appreciating the uniqueness I bring to any situation, whether I’m alone or with others, at home or at work. I feel good when I’m in the present moment, so that is where I’ll stay.

Resource: Go ahead and find subliminals on YouTube or for MP3s. My favorite audio subliminals are from iGodMind, and you can use the light version for free. Headphones are required for the binaural beats, which brings the listener into a more relaxed state. You can search for a subliminal for self-love, confidence, success, relaxation, abundance, appreciation, peacefulness, etc…whatever topic speaks to you.

Tip: I am a devotee of many spiritual and enlightened methods to bring about positive changes, and most importantly, I follow the Law of Attraction. As I give an affirmation, I do not want you to repeat it over and over again in a rote manner. Instead, I wish for you to feel the emotion as the affirmation comes up, and continue in the line of thinking toward more good feeling thoughts for a specific amount of time. Esther Hicks, as she presents the entity called “Abraham”, says that 17-68 seconds is enough time to build a positive momentum toward something wanted (or unwanted). When done frequently, the tide will turn toward more positive than negative thinking, and eventually, mostly positive.

Homework: Get a new notebook, and remembering that you can use the law of attraction to build positive momentum, write down as many things as you can think of that you had success at today, or recently.

Example: I was really successful at handling the many demands of my job. I enjoyed my work, and allowed a lot of creativity to flow to me as I planned my client’s report. I prepared a truly delicious dinner for my family and listened well as each member of my family told me about his/her day. I loved spending a few minutes with each of them, telling the kids a story, and having a cup of tea with my husband. I got many hugs and kisses. I felt strong and healthy all day, especially when I got my morning run in. I see myself bringing my light and abundance to noticeably affect others for good, as it spreads to everyone it touches, and they in turn give to others as well. So, I realize that I helped a lot of people today, and I know that I make a difference and I’m important in this world.

Wrap up: Prepare yourself to only notice the good in yourself, forgetting about past problems or mistakes you’ve owned. Let those all go, as you build your new, creatively and divinely constructed foundation. Your new basis is one of goodness, not perfection, but the reality that you and only you create yourself.

Chapter 1–Programming

Who has been programming you for your entire life?

I know what you are going to say. Genetics, my parents, my culture and community, my siblings, the television and media, the schools, my illness, my abuser. But, is any of that really true?

Look at the stories of great people, and you will find that next to none of them had a silver spoon in their mouths. Almost every wildly abundant person met each obstacle in his/her life with determination to continue on in their path towards their goals; even if they failed many times, they continued in their search.

I love reading stories of successful people that had some setbacks, and overcame them, but really, I find that the moments of real clarity have come for me when I looked at people with what seems insurmountable obstacles and then went on to inspire others. People who at birth had no arms or legs, or were blind or deaf, or had some major disability, and then went on to do remarkable things and inspire others.

These are the people that well up tears of joy within me, because they didn’t look at their problems and say, “that is all I am.” Instead, they looked at themselves and loved themselves enough to give themselves the dreams they created for themselves.

What about you? Have you looked at what your dreams really are? Do you have a clear vision of what you want? How can you attain your dreams if you aren’t really happy with who you are? Or, if you have a lot of conflicting thoughts about yourself?

For instance, there are millions upon millions of people that dream big, however, when it comes time to actually take action, most people have a fatal flaw that keeps them back from really actualizing their dream, such as inaction, fear (“well, I failed at a course in school, I didn’t get the job interviews, and I don’t make enough money to try something new”), worrisome thoughts (“if I follow my dream, how will I pay my bills?” or “if I do what I want, my friends or family will not like me anymore.”)

The fatal flaw is the limiting belief. As Albert Ellis explained in the 1950’s, a person should eliminate his/her irrational beliefs, because those beliefs are causing pain NOW. Even if the pains were caused in years past, the present moment holds the pain again and again if not addressed properly. In Self-Love, you must address the limiting beliefs and accept your rightful and proper place in the world, telling your new story about your new life. The new life is focused. You cannot afford to bounce around from happy thought to sadness, then fear, then maybe another happy one, then a hopeful thought, then anger…You have the ability to direct your thoughts to positive ones, and if a negative one gets in, you can redirect them as well. More on that a little while later.

Joseph Campbell, the luminary for PBS specials, was an amazing believer in God, and his speeches on religion always brought back faith within me. He was very well known for his belief that a person should “follow your bliss,” meaning, that if you do what you love, the money will follow.

After reflection on my own life, I agree wholeheartedly with Campbell for myriad reasons, and wish to expand the idea to include an individual’s right to complete freedom. Do you believe you are free? Is freedom in the forefront of your God given nature? Or is a person stuck in whatever rut given at birth? Let’s explore this further.

The law of attraction says that whatever is like will attract more like it. This applies to all people and situations, without exception, and although the LOA has many naysayers, I fully understand the power of it now. To put it simply, when you believe in yourself, you generally have many positive thoughts, confident thoughts, and therefore move confidently in the direction of your goals. The opposite is also true, that when you do not believe in yourself, you would undoubtedly believe negative things about yourself, which will sabotage the success you see in your life.

The movie, The Secret, became popular in 2004 when Rhonda Byrne brought together a host of amazing speakers that had been using the LOA with success. So, the LOA is not a secret at all anymore, and a multitude of speakers and life coaches, as well as individual people and business owners have been using the law of attraction since the beginning of thought.

NOTE: If all of the other things and people are programming your mind, then you have absolutely no control at all over anything that happens to you. Test this out for yourself. If you are in control of your own mind, then you and only you are truly in control of your thoughts, feelings, and the outcomes and results in your life.

Now, if like attracts like, it is easy to see why I want for you to begin to reprogram your mind. Your reprogramming must be yours and yours alone, at your own pace, at whatever level you can handle.

As you begin to clear away the scenarios in your life that have continually troubled you, you may very well find those scenarios happening. Remember what I’d said about practice: that right at that moment would be the time to exercise your control, your own self control of your thoughts. For it is always your reaction (which is only your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors) to a situation that will determine if that same exact situation will continue to play itself out in a variety of ways in your life. When you choose a better way of thinking about it, you will change your results! NOT until then!

You will keep getting more insanity, chaos, and confusion, or even worse-abuse or hostility-unless YOU react differently when you are out of the situation (by being generally happy when you are not engaged), and then also when you are engaging with an uncomfortable situation (by being reflective that you can take a moment to relax, think calmly, and realize better things are coming to you all the time). Your inner voice will be guiding you—it is time to listen to that voice, because that voice offers the path that will guide you to a better situation.

Again, in the case of a BAD situation, you may flip-flop back and forth for a while, but hopefully, you will choose to leave the situation and any immediate danger. You must ALSO change your thinking or the same situation will show up again. This is the thinking about what you deserve, who you are, what you offer. Your place in the world is important, but it is not anyone else’s opinion that matters; only you can decide how to live your life.

Wrap up: Begin to understand that you and only you can program your mind. Your conscious thoughts become the unconscious, so to speak. Your thoughts and feelings can change with some mental effort toward focusing on your own strengths at all times. There is literally no reason whatsoever to focus on your limitations. When you really love yourself, and today you are taking steps to love yourself, you believe that today is a new beginning for you, that you are realizing your own power, and that as you learn what your power is and how to harness it, you will feel better than you do right now.

You are a success, you were a success all along, and you will continue to be more successful along your path. Take a moment to record some of the successes you have experienced today and some positive things you notice about yourself.

Chapter 2—Manifest Something “Small”

The best part of any good self-love program is doing your own actual experiment, so you will now think about something relatively small that you would like to have (or manifest). It could be something useful for your home, someone offering to take you out for coffee,

I recently did this exact experiment, and was surprised that I found the manifestations came very quickly because the two things I wanted were not tied up with resistance TO having them. The first thing I thought was that I really like orange vehicles and me and my kids were discussing our favorite vehicles. I said that I would LOVE an orange jeep of some sort. Literally, the next day, I just happened to see one. Then, I was getting in my truck, and passing a town that reminded me of my old college friend, who liked the band, U2. As I thought of some good memories, I repeated a few verses of some U2 songs, and then thought, oh, I’d love to hear a U2 song. And, wouldn’t you know it, a few minutes later, “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” came on the radio! I thought that was the universe playing with me!

Now, you try! It is fun, and you will find that if you choose something that is “easy” that you don’t have any big deal or big drama all around, you may manifest it relatively easy. Plan to spend a few moments just thinking about things you like: you may like to make lists of your favorite things and why you like each one, and consider if you would really like to have or do that right now. And, then watch and see, which one will show up first. Just start to make a habit of doing this, and the things you want will start showing up, again, IF there is no resistance to them.

Chapter 3—Feel Your Own Personal Power!

You are now able to understand that you are in control of your thoughts, so you can choose positive path or negative path. You can guide your thoughts on every topic of your life, so keep your success journal going and add to it throughout the day. Read and re-read your affirmations from the previous chapters. Keep writing the things that make you happy.

The next part is where life gets really interesting, and where the law of attraction really kicks in and starts some truly amazing momentum.

When something slightly good, moderately good, or really good, or when one of those things you wished for in Chapter 2 manifests, don’t just say, “thank you” to the universe. Milk your power in that moment. You will probably get chills as you come into your power. You will be excited. You may even be scared, because frankly, some of this mind-power and manifestation stuff is weird. Yet, it truly is ALL GOOD. Stay in your moment, and AFFIRM:

“I AM an amazing creator. I created this wonderful good in my life. I remember when I wished for it, and here it is. This was no accident, this was MY doing, because I thought about it, and here it came. I feel my power; I feel my empowerment; I am powerful in many ways. And, I am eager to feel this power more and often. This kind of power is exciting and fun, and those are feelings I also like and want more of.”

Keep a record of your wish list, this could be done as a vision board or just a list. Keep the list in open sight so that you can reflect on it when you wish to. Just remember, don’t worry because something HASN’T come yet. Just believe that it will come when you are not resisting it.

Chapter 4—Softening Resistance
Self-love comes far more easily when you take full responsibility for the fact that you have accepted the programming of others in your life. They tried their best at times, maybe telling you that you “couldn’t” or “shouldn’t” do something because they were worried about how it would affect them. Like, your parents said, “No,” you can’t go to that school because you don’t have good enough grades, when really, they couldn’t afford it. Their pessimistic disposition influenced you to become more like them, about your worth, your abilities, and about money.

Some people have downright hurt you, and that has caused you to think differently about yourself. You may have told yourself that you aren’t able to have a good relationship with a spouse because you never saw a happy marriage with your own parents, or possibly worse, you went around not knowing why you kept having bad relationships.

The Pivot:

The law of attraction teaches to pivot whenever you get yourself going into a negative thought or a limiting belief. At that VERY moment, you can ask yourself, “what do I really want right now?” Instead of brooding over a topic that irritates you, you change to the positive immediately, and it works wonders.

Examples:
1. “I really hate the way “he” treats me,” becomes, “Well, I do have a choice here, and I can accept him the way he is. I can accept myself also. If he is not respecting me, then the law of attraction says that I am putting out a disrespectful vibe myself. Maybe I should treat MYSELF better, and take better care of the way I treat myself. It is time for me to put myself first, and focus on my own happiness, and not get involved in my judgments and criticisms so much.”

2. “She does things that annoy me,” becomes, “Ok, I do have a choice here, and I know it’s not useful to judge her. But, I can focus on my own thinking and see what I can do to feel better. I see myself handling situations with ease, and I see myself having more fun. I really want to have clarity and fun with her. I know that everything is working out for me.”

The last part of this free Self-Love book is dedicated to forgiveness and unconditional love, the most amazing healers amid resistance.

Forgiveness

Everyone has many things that need forgiveness, and so it is useful to focus on them, as keeping a not forgiving feeling or attitude is a big thing that holds people back from their true desires.

Think about all of the people in your life, maybe in chronological order, and think about the ones that have hurt you in some way and need forgiveness. At the same time, think about people you may have hurt, even if inadvertently. Animals or plants as well. You may want to make a list of them, and begin to see which ones are easy to forgive, and cross them off your list. Revisit the list every day for a few minutes, and see if you feel the burden lifting.

When you focus on the people that need forgiveness, ask them for it in your mind. God loves all, no exceptions, and when you start to feel like that, like you can view another person with God’s eyes, then you really are there!
And, when you have hurt someone, and would like them to forgive you, know that even if the person won’t or can’t forgive you, you are forgiven. Experience that feeling, and accept it now. You can be peaceful and loving, in spite of mistakes. Now, when you create new relationships, they will not have the cloud of negativity starting out with them.

Unconditional Love

Your go to emotion, love is the answer to everything. Loving yourself is like experiencing love from God or source or Heaven. When you are taking regular time to feel your own personal power as a creator, and focusing on finding good things about yourself, you are in the highest vibration or frequency. Accept this good feeling, and relish it for as long as you can. Praise yourself and others at every chance you get, and your love will increase.

Wrapping it all Up:

Another amazing thing I’ve found that works miracles is a commitment to NOT COMPLAINING for 30 days, but instead focusing on something positive. You are substituting new, clear, and joyous feelings for the old, chaotic, and cranky feelings. As you do this for a few minutes each day, you will become more and more still and calm inside, and less moved by silly, passing emotions. I promise, if you make a pledge to not complain, you will find that most of your judgments are about yourself, and the ones you love most. Think about what will happen if you thought NICE and LOVING thoughts—compliments and praise—for yourself and your family and friends, children and parents, coworkers and bosses, employees and neighbors, instead?

Re-evaluate every 30 days to see if you have made progress and if your life feels better than when you started. Keep using the few concepts of realizing you are creating your life, create good feelings within yourself, lessen resistance, use forgiveness and love, and keep this cycle going by repeating them over and over until you are where you want to be.  Make today matter, because YOU do matter, today and every day.

As you move into the next new and interesting phase of your life, I wish you peace, prosperity, happiness, and health. And, as I tell my children every day and every night, I love you forever and ever and always.

Resource List

I have written lots of articles on the topics of resistance, personal power, manifesting, forgiveness, unconditional love, on my two new blogs. I want to share these influential sites with you for your highest self and your highest good at www.beyondpositiveaffirmations.wordpress.com and www.lawofattractionandmore.wordpress.com. I would love to hear your comments about the articles there.

You can find lots of snippets about my personal experience using LOA, the teachings of Abraham, Joe Vitale, Bob Proctor and Mary Morrissey, Bob Doyle, Louise Hay, and Dr. Dyer’s teachings.

I also run a really amazing divorce website, which I created after my own divorce many years ago. I created the site that I thought I would have wanted when I was getting divorced. The site is about uncontested divorce, and how a person can limit his/her stress by getting an amicable divorce, using a collaborative lawyer, or just mediating and doing the paperwork themselves. It’s www.real-divorce.com, and there’s over 200 pages of useful and completely free divorce and child support information.

I am in the process of adding an “Ask the CPA” Section, so that anyone getting divorced can get real answers about property division, not attorney talk that makes both parties deliberate over each issue for weeks or months.