What Every Mom Should Know (Not Parenting Instructions, but How to Love Yourself Instructions)

What Every Mom Should Know (Not Parenting Instructions, but How to Love Yourself Instructions)

Really, a few simple and easy ways to improve your Parenting.

Whether you chose parenting seriously or not, you are in it. There are some things I wish I had known before I had ever had children. I wished I had an aunt or a big sister to tell me the big secrets in life, or a Mom who had been through things that I could relate to. I was somewhat confident before I became a parent—confident in other areas of life, but I was relying on others for my “esteem”! I got married, became a parent, and got divorced so quickly, it seems like I blinked! So, when I landed in the dumps, I had to really re-build who I was, my complete foundation, all over again.

So, I am creating this article to entail some of the characteristics all Moms should have in order to fulfill themselves—first. I mean, like, first. Before her spouse and her child, there are certain beliefs that have to happen for a woman to be comfortable with herself, and love living in her own skin.

You see, most people, but women especially, get their esteem from what other people think of them. If parents or others are happy, then they feel happy with themselves. If this is true, then the others create the happiness for them. And happiness is outside of themselves.

If others are unhappy with them, then they feel sad or upset with themselves. If this is true, others can take away their happiness and leave the person feeling empty, lonely, helpless, and worthless.

This mentality creates happiness and unhappiness as completely in someone else’s control, rather than with the self. You may say that it seems that conditions make you happy or sad, but alas, when you have children, you have never seen such a fast-paced environment of mental changes and challenges throughout the day! Children need so much attention, love and care, but sometimes it seems that the ceaseless demands are overwhelming! It can be easy to react or overreact…

As a parent, you can never feel satisfied if you are displeased with your parenting. Parenting becomes your most important role in life as soon as you are pregnant, and whether you work or stay home, you will be critical of yourself as you make parenting mistakes, or if your children “disobey”. You will belittle yourself for the smallest of parental “infractions”, when he cries and you want to soothe him but somehow you didn’t figure out what he needed, when you wanted to teach him peaceful behavior but grabbed a toy out of his hands anyway, you don’t want her to be a bully but you go and yell at her, you are late to pick them up from school, you are not organized and so the kids act in a chaotic way. The list goes on…it doesn’t matter “what” you find that is wrong, but that you think it’s normal TO find things that are wrong with yourself.

Then, couple this way of thinking, that happiness lies outside of you (and you are only happy if the right conditions are present), with the people who love you generally not showing you the respect, love, and appreciation YOU deserve. Your parents and husband will most likely forget to tell you on a regular basis how much they care about you, and what a terrific job you are doing. The important people may tell you, but you may not hear them well because you are stuck looking at problems!

Even if you are doing a perfect job, others may not even notice. And, it doesn’t mean you have done anything wrong if they haven’t noticed what a beautiful, elegant, kind, considerate mother you are.

I have some good news…

You didn’t realize that the way out of any problem you have now, or have ever had, is simply to appreciate. Self-appreciation or self-love is so awesomely beneficial that I can’t say enough about it, but I’m also going to tell you why and how to get started.

Self appreciation means that you don’t have to wait for your husband to tell you that you did a good job. It means that you don’t have to have a bad day brooding over whether someone loves or appreciates you. It means that You and only You have the power to lift yourself up right now.

And lift yourself up you can, right now…here are some lovely things that I’d like to tell you, and I assure you every one of them are true…

  • You came into your life to fulfill a wonderful purpose.
  • Your being here is a beautiful gift. You are not here to measure up to anyone’s idea of what you should be.
  • You were meant to enjoy your life as much as you can.
  • You can build yourself a foundation of love, because that is what you are—love.
  • You may not always feel good, but you can choose to remember that you are love, and then you will feel better.
  • When you recharge yourself with good feeling thoughts, you will be at your best.
  • Take one moment at a time, everything is OK. You are safe.
  • You are love; you are peace; you are joy.
  • You have passion, and you will enjoy parenting when you allow your passion to flow.
  • You like being inspired, and you take pride in what you create when you have inspiration flowing.
  • You love your good relationships, and your heart is overflowing with love for your family.
  • You are confident. You can create your life in the image you want.
  • You are a creator that is choosing love and peace and joy. This will bring more love and peace and joy to the world, as your children go into it, this will spread.
  • Life is about being more and better every day. Be comforted to know that you are getting better at everything.
  • Being happy around the kids is something you want for your family. You want them to know that you always wanted them, that you choose them and they choose you. Because it was your choice, you will fulfill your dream.
  • You are clear and enthusiastic about parenting, and you will have a smooth and easy time in all of your days.
  • Whether you are married or not, only you define your worth. You are all that you want to be, and only you define what you want to be.
  • You grow and learn every day. You don’t focus on mistakes, because you focus on solutions and living your highest good and your ideal self. Your dreams become your reality as you focus and see the life you want in your mind.
  • You enjoy focusing your attention on what you do have, and you have an abundance of everything you need (nature, air, water, food, shelter, money, time, good relationships, career, opportunities).
  • You know that your happiness begins with you looking for things to be thankful for! So, you love focusing on the wonderful qualities you do possess, your wonderful children and family, and supportive friends, your time having fun with your roles in life.

I truly hope you have enjoyed remembering your true worth, your value, and your loving expression.  You are beautiful, just because you are.  Love is your foundation, and it is a gift you can give yourself every day, a gift that no one can take from you.

My wish is to inspire you, and if you feel it, for you to share this with another mom who needs it as well.  I welcome your comments and ideas below!  Much love and blessings!


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sharon Ballantine
    Jul 16, 2015 @ 14:53:56

    What a great set of instructions.

    I would add that we are born with an incredible tool, our Internal Guidance System (IGS) that will help us–if we listen to it and trust it. As we are all different in our interests, abilities, and desires, our IGS is instrumental in helping us forge our own path to happiness.

    Teaching our kids how to tap into their IGS is one of the best gifts we can give them.



    • holisticjen
      Sep 08, 2015 @ 21:02:15

      So nice to have a fellow LOA Coach visit my blog! Thanks for stopping over, and thank you for your tip. Like Bashar says, we all trust in something, and we’d better decide what it is. It might as well be the IGS! So right!



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